V. Peter Pitts, M.A.
Small colleges are almost custom-made for the undecided student.
A while back I was watching an episode of Mr. Iglesias on Netflix. For those who have never seen this great show, Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias plays the role of a high school social studies teacher. In one of my favorite episodes, one of his fellow teachers explains to him the Japanese concept called IKIGAI. He pulled down a chart with four intersecting circles. These circles were labeled:
Things you love
Things you are good at
Things that are needed
Things that make money
Where these 4 intersect, the mentor told Gabriel, lies a person’s IKIGAI. Their reason for being. Their reason to get up in the morning. Their “center.”
I love this concept and have used it a lot in working with undecided students.
Very rarely does a student find their IKIGAI in grade school, middle school, or high school. Most students find their IKIGAI during (or shortly after) their college years. I didn’t find my IKIGAI until two years after Graduate School. Some people never find their true IKIGAI, and some do not find it through no fault of their own (for example, some people are influenced by their family or family circumstances into a career path that becomes a job/profession, but not a true IKIGAI).
Yet parents, relatives, counselors, and teachers are constantly asking (especially high school age) students, "What are you going to major in when you go to college?" “What are you going to be?” “Are you going to be a doctor?” “Are you going to be a lawyer?” “Are you going to be an engineer?” The pressure students feel to come up with an acceptable answer is tremendous. If they were truly being honest with themselves, many students would say that they are undecided about exactly what they want to do, what they want to study, and which college they would like to attend. These “undecided students” are my favorite students to counsel, especially during their sophomore and junior years of high school.
The truth is that many students don’t really know, exactly, “what they love,” and they haven’t sampled enough of life to know all that they are “good at.” Self-reflection is difficult for most students at that age. Students rarely know job forecasts or salary structures.
So how can parents, high school counselors, independent counselors, and college admission counselors use the IKIGAI model to help undecided students?
When I meet with an undecided student, I use the IKIGAI model without the student even knowing that I am doing that. I guess I could just come out and ask “What do you like the most? What are you good at doing?” But there are more subtle and thoughtful questions that work better. Let me tell you some of my favorite questions:
“What careers have you ever (even casually) thought you might enjoy? What do your parents encourage you to consider (or major in)?”
“What skill or ability, of one of your best friends, are you most envious? What do they envy about you?”
“What do you like to do in your free time?”
“If computers didn’t exist and you had to rely on books, what kinds of books do you think you would want to read? Tell me three subjects you would like to read more about.”
“If you had to teach a subject to someone, what subject would you choose to teach, and why?
“Are you good at explaining things to your friends? Do your friends come to you for help? If so, in which subjects?”
“What can you do better than most of your friends?”
“What is your ‘rabbit hole?’ In other words, in what do you get SO engrossed that you lose track of time?”
My favorite interview question: “You have been invited to a dinner [college]. You are supposed to bring an appetizer [the little thing about you that the college will first notice], a main course [the main thing about you that the college will love about you], and a dessert [the sweet little “extra” trait or ability that you will bring to the college]. Without talking about food [we are talking about college, not food], tell me your appetizer, your main course, and your dessert.” Example: My appetizer is my sense of humor, my main course is my expertise in chemistry, and my dessert is my athleticism in basketball. This takes a little prodding, but once students begin thinking about it, it becomes one of their favorite questions too.
“What is a talent that you have that even your parents and friends are not totally aware of? Is there a new particular talent you would like to develop in college? Is there something you have always wanted to do or study or do, but it just wasn’t offered at your school?”
“Let’s invent a college, sort of a Sim City College. Where would you build this college? Would it be close to your home? Would it be in a city, suburb, or small town? How many students would attend this college? What would the college look like (architecture and landscaping)? What subjects would be taught at this college? How many students will be in the introductory classes? What extracurricular activities will exist? What subjects do you think you would enjoy the most if you attend this college? What would you do for fun?” The questions could go on and on. [Actually someday I would like to find a computer programmer to help me design a Sim City type game that small groups in high school college-prep classes could, as an exercise, use to “build” their perfect college.]”
“If all your teachers from kindergarten through high school were in the room (and you were NOT in the room) and I asked them the three talents (or best traits) they see in you, what would they say? In what areas would they say you need the most improvement?” Note: when I was an admissions representative, this was the main question I would ask if a student was “borderline” in terms of acceptance.
“Without regard to liking a teacher (or their style of teaching), what subjects are your favorites? Which ones come most easily to you? Which ones do you struggle with? Which ones do you absolutely hate?” [Follow-up question to each of these is “why?”]
“What kinds of internships do you think you would enjoy while in college? Do you want to study abroad? If so, where, why, and what subject(s)?”
If a student appears to have their mind set on one specific career (engineering, nursing, law, etc.), I always ask them for a Plan B and a Plan C and Plan D. For example, if they say law, I ask them “if you are not admitted into law school or you are admitted but find out you don’t enjoy it, what would be your second choice? What would you do for income?” Since a pre-law student can major in virtually anything, I encourage them to pursue their Plan B as their course of study. I encourage students to (a) always keep an open mind, and (b) always have a backup plan (actually multiple backup plans). This is a difficult question for students to answer (most have never thought of alternative plans), so sometimes I have to circle back to this one after the other questions are answered.
Note: this is not necessarily the order in which I ask the questions. Plus, I never ask all of these questions, and, obviously, the course of the conversation will lead to other questions not on this list.
As students respond to these questions, a picture begins to form in my mind (sort of like an impressionistic painting), and in my notes, about majors/programs that might appeal to the student. Then a list begins to form (this student might enjoy studying A, B, C, D, E). Once I have the list, I do research to find colleges that offer these subjects (as majors, minors, certificates, or programs). Rarely will I find a college that covers all five or six of their interests, so I make a list of colleges that offer most of them and give that list to the student. The student then needs to research (a) the careers related to their interests in terms of salaries and employment forecasts, and (b) the colleges themselves. Recently I worked with a student who had six different potential programs/majors (all very different from one another), and I was fortunate to find one university that actually offered all of them.
In the end, the goal is for the student to have a clearer idea of what they really like, what they are good at, job potential, a list of colleges to which they should apply, and (most importantly), which ones are the best fit for them. Obviously there are other factors to be considered (cost being primary) but this is a good starting point for students.
College (especially small colleges, where faculty get to know each individual student well) will help lead them to their “center,” to their IKIGAI. The more that can be done with students at the high school level to begin thinking about their future in terms of interests, passions, and talents, the easier it will be for the student to complete the process at the collegiate level and beyond.
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